What can you do you, when you are living in hostels and you meet nice, beautiful and attractive people every single day without any room (or money) for some privacy? Every backpacker has been in such a situation and we all know how crazy hostel life can be. But where are the boundaries? I believe to have found mine.
I’m a 24 year old girl from the Swedish countryside and I am backpacking around Australia and New Zealand. After staying at hostels for months, I thought I have seen (and heard everything).
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Last weekend, however, was a bit extraordinary. I went for some drinks with my friend. I can’t recall how many we had, but as the night continued I realized it was too many. Back in the hostel we fell right into our bed. We shared a six-bed dorm with a really nice and innocent girl from Taiwan and a guy from the Netherlands (or Germany, we didn’t really speak to him aaaand it all sounds the same to me anyways).
I quickly checked Tinder and just when I was finally about to fall asleep, the door opened and the Dutch guy came in. He was obviously not alone. Nothing serious I thought, just the standard procedure: Checking if someone else is in the room and if so, take a couple of condoms and go to the showers.
Now, I have absolutely no clue if they didn’t see us, if they just didn’t care or maybe they didn’t know where hot showers were. Most probably it was a combination of that all, simply because they were too wasted.
It was pitch black (thanks for not turning on the lights if you read this) and I had my back towards them. But I could still hear everything, despite I initially tried not to. Since they weren’t leaving the dorm, I was hoping they would just share a bed for the night and that’s all. But that wouldn’t be very much hostel like, right?
The girl (100% sure she was from England because no accent like the English accent) fell over making something (or when getting undressed) and made tremendous noise. By now everyone in the room must have been awake. I could hear how she apoligized to the guy by kissing him all over.
It took them an eternity to get undressed. But then they didn’t have any time to waste. The noises were telling me that they were going down on each other. The British girl must be search result #1 on Google, if you look for “screamer”. I wonder if all Brits are like that? She was loud. She was never really trying to be quiet, but then she even got louder.
In fact it became an English lession in “how to talk in bed for advanced users”. I asked my friend in the bunk above me if she was awake. It was a rhetorical question, of course. Drunk as she was, she just started to laugh out loud. So loud that for a moment I didn’t even hear the British girl mouning on the other side of the room.
Meanwhile the Taiwanese girl was moving around in her bed, but still pretending to be sleeping. I bet she was trying to say: “Hey, I’m asleep, please stop it.” But she was just too shy to say anything. Poor girl.
My friend on the other hand got way too excited and enjoyed the live show. She was not too ashamed to watch it, she actually cheered them on – literally. All she could say in English at that point was “go, go, go” and “f*ck, f*ck, f*ck”, the rest was naughty Swedish. But it worked like a charm.
If she was into football as much as watching random people getting it on, Zlatan Ibrahimovic would hire her as her personal cheerleader. So loud and excited she got about it.
The guy, realizing they were caught in the act, was now pushing really hard. And fast. My best friend in the bed above turned on her phone to get a glimpse of it. I hope you realized by now that she is freakin’ nuts?
The English girl couldn’t care less. She completely lost her mind. I’m sure they woke up even guests in the room next to us. I finally started to find the whole situation so absurd, that I started to laugh myself: Two strangers, having wild sex on the other side of the room, a Taiwanese girl pretending to be sleeping and my friend LOLing and pointing light to them. Gosh, I am now wishing that the bed above the naughty couple, was occupied as well. So sad it wasn’t.
The guy surprsingly checked out the day after and we haven’t seen him so far (I assume the girl never really checked in at the hostel anyways). The Taiwanese girl never spoke to us again (I think just because it was too much for her, not because she actually hated us). We are Sweds after all, noone hates us, right?